Ummm...

Manager Dave Trembley said he's heavily considered giving backup Guillermo Quiroz more frequent starts. "Ramon's a good catcher. He's done it for a long time," Trembley said. "But in order for us to have the success that we're looking to have, Ramon needs to play better. I think that's just the way it is."

Equally as important as Hernandez's struggles is the emergence of Quiroz as a viable catcher. The rookie has earned 16 starts as compared to Hernandez's 40-evidence that he's become more than just a Sunday afternoon catcher. Quiroz, signed Dec. 3, has been better defensively than Hernandez, evident in his throw to nail Boston speedster Jacoby Ellsbury Sunday.

Ummmm...

Right.

Listen.

In 20 games, Quiroz is hitting .224/.296/.306.

If that and the occasional good throw are what counts for "a viable catcher," then I guess I finally understand Pudge Rodriguez (.253/.289/.365 following last year's .281/.294/.420) still being so highly-regarded.

LaToya Hawkins, I'm sorry, but Alex Cintron is absolutely your father, you beanball-missing hack. Leave now and never come back!

The ninth inning rain delay that seemed to last 36 years and has forever put the Extra Innings menu music in my brain was pretty lame, but otherwise this was a bizarre and fun game. Nine home runs! Twice the Orioles went back-to-back, both times involving Yankee Killer Kevin Millar! And a walkoff fly ball single by Alex Cintron, who pinch-ran for Ramon "Home Run" Hernandez.

And LaToya being the goat -- chef kiss that stuff. Magnifique.

Jeter also had a hideous game, which was amusing.

We were lucky to win this one. The Yankees should've blown it up in the top of the 11th, but nearly were held scoreless after a shot up the middle by A-Rod was picked off by Brian Roberts on the hop to start the rare 4-2-5 double play. Matsui singled home a run after that, but they were held.

And then Hawkins took over. Oh, the fun we had!

Brian Burres got waxed tonight but in the end, who remembers that? The Yankees went up 4-0, we tied it 4-4. The Yankees went up 8-4, we tied it 8-8. The Yankees went up 9-8, we tied it 9-9, and then took our first and last lead of the game. Oh, the fun we had!

There can't be too many more like this, can there?

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I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'm sure. It's one thing to come into this season with low expectations, and knowing the team is going to compete for Worst Team in Baseball, and knowing how rocky and downright bad it's going to be, but it's another thing to actually sit and watch it happen.

The O's came out for 2008 with another surprisingly fast start, ending April in contention. We're a week into May, 16-16, and now we're in fourth place. And brothers and sisters, it's only going to get worse.

We're a half-game up on Toronto, and the Jays are riding a five-game win streak. It's only a matter of time before we get settled in the cellar.

I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. Think about some of the guys starting for this team. Luis Hernandez and his .542 OPS, weak arm, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Ramon Hernandez and his .581 OPS, detrimental alleged defense behind the plate, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Luke Scott (.778 and nosediving) and Jay Payton (.642 and steady) are in a left field platoon.

Our starting first baseman is OPSing .672. Nick Markakis is in a massive slump right now. Our number three hitter is Melvin Mora -- .729 OPS.

This offense is offensive.

And it kind of makes you feel bad for a starting pitching crew that is performing a lot better than most would have expected. Jeremy Guthrie (4.06/1.24) is doing his thing again. Daniel Cabrera (4.06/1.35) seems to have found a balance between power pitching and trusting his stuff enough to let people try to hit it. Brian Burres (2.87/1.28) has been terrific. Garrett Olson (2.08/1.08) has been great in two starts since being called up. Steve Trachsel is a waste of time, so let's not even bother talking about him right now.

The bullpen has been a little inconsistent, but they've held their own for the most part. There's not much more you could ask of this pitching staff than what they've given us, to be totally fair.

And then there's the boneheaded baserunning and fielding and other assorted screwery. It's hard to watch a team make so many fundamental little mistakes that wind up costing them games. The A's had no business winning last night. They shouldn't have scored a run.

But then the Orioles shouldn't be making two outs on every hit-and-run they attempt and gloriously fail to execute. The Orioles shouldn't run into so many outs. But Dave has them running, despite their constant presentation of evidence that they don't know how to run the bases. Roberts is a fantastic baserunner. Markakis is a really good, savvy baserunner, last night's boner notwithstanding. But guys like Luis and Adam Jones, while they have speed, aren't good baserunners. It's one of the few times I'll go out of my way to praise Derek Jeter, but that guy is a magnificent baserunner. It's not just speed, and we all know that. Markakis isn't terribly fast, but, like Jeter, he has good instincts and rarely screws himself over.

And it's not just on the bases. It's in the field, too. Melvin Mora, God bless him, makes more idiotic mistakes than anyone I can think of. He also makes a lot of highlight reel plays. His tendency to look to get a glory out and wind up getting nobody out is a little high. Luis Hernandez? I can't really blame him. He's not really a Major League shortstop. He does not have the arm for the position.

I'm not mad about them being bad, and I'm not upset about it, and it doesn't depress me or anything. But it's hard to watch a team so bad on so many levels. They try hard, there's a lot of moxy, and there's plenty of grit. They've got some gamers. That's super.

They stink, though. We all knew they would.

(And Aubrey Huff has been fine.)

Garrett Olson pitched a quality start in his return to Baltimore, and the O's got rid of Rays starter Jason Hammel in short order to pound out a 7-4 win at home and stay tied with the Red Sox for first place in the AL East.

I watched the game but didn't talk, and here were my impressions of Olson last night, in numbered form!

1. Five walks in six and two thirds is still just not good. At all.
2. I won't, however, go so far as to say he was "the same guy" as last year. He dealt better with falling behind and even losing batters, and those that pointed out the small strike zone last night (probably a more correct strike zone than most pitchers are used to anymore) are correct. He never lost his head and threw fat pitches just to get them over. He trusted that his stuff and his defense would bail him out. It's a dangerous way to live if you're going to walk that many, but it's the right mindset, I'd say.
3. I was glad to see him wearing No. 18 instead of 57. Last year, Alberto Castillo had 18, and 18 has been worn by the likes of Pat Kelly, Javy Lopez, Jeff Conine, Bob Milacki, Damon Buford, and, of course, Larry Sheets.
4. I'd rather see Olson struggle and learn than watch Steve Trachsel simply struggle.

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OK, so it wasn't a homer. But Adam Jones' game-winning single off of Boob Logan in the bottom of the 10th inning will suffice. The O's are back in Birdland, if only for now.

Chicago went up 2-0, and the O's tied it at two in the bottom of the sixth. Leading off the seventh against Jeremy Guthrie, Carlos Quentin homered. Then Joe Crede homered. Goodnight, Guts, 4-2 Sox.

Quentin homered again in the eighth, making it 5-2 Chicago, but the Birds got one back in the bottom of the inning, then wailed on Big Fat Bobby Jenks in the ninth to tie it up.

Dave Trembley was faced with a dilemma. Payton had pinch-hit for Luis Luis, so Fahey was in. Then he decided to send Ramon up for Fahey in the ninth, which meant we were out of reserves and we had no shortstop.

Here's what I would've done: Mora at SS, Millar at 3B, Ramon at 1B.

Here's what Dave did: Huff at 3B (sacrificing the DH), Mora at SS.

The first way would've been more fun, but oh well. Despite Huff's best efforts to single-handedly lose this game (0-for-5 with three strikeouts), young Adam Jones singled home Kevin Millar in the tenth for the win. Booya! Game over.

George Sherrill got the win, and we're now 9-7.

HEY, YANKEES!

YOOOOOOOOU!

Once a year or so, it's good to update these. Players come and players go, much like the asinine nicknames that generally spring out of the game threads. So here's a quick primer for anyone who's new and might not know what in God's name we're talking about during certain points of a game.

Albers, Matt

• Fat Albers

This is not in any way intended to be mean. Honest. I know the dude's a little pudgy, maybe still carrying some baby fat, or maybe he's just like most of the rest of us and likes to reward himself for a fine day's work of breathing air and being a cool dude by wolfing down a Baconator or six. I'm not here to judge Matt Albers. It's just something that happened in my head and then I put it on a blog. Hey, hey, hey!

You gotta do it right though. Listen for yourself, if you're unfamiliar. It starts loud, so be prepared. That site is long faded as far as being funny goes, but whatever. RAN-DOOOOOR!

Bradford, Chad

• ChadBrad
• Chadwick
• Chadstache

Ain't found a way to kill me yet

Eyes burn with stingin' sweat

Seems every path leads me to nowhere

Wife and kids, household pet

Army green was no safe bet

The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Yeah, they come to snuff The Rooster

Yeah, here come The Rooster

You know he ain't gonna die

Walkin' tall, machine gun man

They spit on me in my homeland

Mora, Melvin 

• MelMo
• Melly Mel
• Melvin Moron
• Playoff Hero Melvin Mora

Did Babe Ruth ever slap at someone's glove while they tried to tag him? Did Mickey Mantle? Did Hank Aaron? Did Cal Ripken? Did Dane Iorg? Did Kiko Garcia? Seriously. He's a player to admire, but a total weiner.

That's why I prefer "Brian Bob."

Sarfate, Dennis

• Dennis the Menace

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Matt Albers got the job done in a spot start and George Sherrill picked up a shaky sixth save on the season as the Birds remained in first place with a 4-3 win over Toronto.

The O's are now 6-1 at Camden Yards this season, quite a turnaround from last year's dismal 35-46 home record. Trembley went bullpen crazy as usual, giving Jim Johnson two and a third before calling in Jamie Walker and Chad Bradford to get one out apiece. With a 4-1 lead, Sherrill came in to pitch the ninth and allowed a two-run, pinch-hit home run to Alex Rios, but he survived the brush with crap and got us out of there with one more in the win column.

Pretty good game at the plate, too. Kevin Millar was 2-for-4 with a homer and three RBIs, and Brian Roberts, Melvin Mora and Luke Scott all had two hits apiece. Adam Jones was 3-for-3 with a walk, and looked really good at the plate, even though his first hit was sort of an off-balance hack at a breaking ball. After that, he appeared to be dialed in. And this after Dave Trembley went around telling everyone he could find that he really thought about pulling the struggling Jones today.

I still wonder what purpose that serves. Is it motivation? Doesn't it seem like that would make the kid press even harder? And if he had pulled him, then why is he on the team anyway? He's here to learn on the Major League level.

The other O's RBI came from a Ramon Hernandez sac fly. He was 0-for-3 to push his average down to a sparkling .179.

With 13 hits, the O's should have scored more runs, which is a pretty familiar feeling. They grounded into three double plays and made two outs at the plate. The first was Luis Hernandez hesitating to run anywhere on a Nick Markakis chopper where he absolutely should have scored or at least not run at all, but them's the breaks. The second came in the eighth, when Juan Samuel sent Jay Payton on a medium-depth fly ball to left field with one out and Brian Roberts coming up with two men in scoring position.

Let's think about this. Payton runs fine, but he's not fast. Shannon Stewart can't throw, but he wasn't throwing very far. There is another out to go and the insurance run(s) would certainly help. So Samuel sends him?

You're on notice, Juan. You're Trebelhorn II.

But a win is a win is a win. I'm also worried about the fact that in eight wins, Sherrill has six saves. We're not exactly whomping on the competition, and close games can turn against you very fast. But a win is a win is a win. This is Birdland.

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We're 7-5. It's true. But let's really take a look at this 7-5 record of ours, and see if this is a team legitimately outperforming expectations, or a team just sort of, you know, 7-5 because that's just sort of how it is.

Coming into today's loss to the Rays, the O's were hitting .253/.331/.423 as a team. Who's performing?

Luke Scott is performing. Brian Roberts is performing. Nick Markakis is performing, even though it took him 12 games to get his first homer. Nick's walking like crazy because teams are willing to pitch around him to get to Millar in many cases.

And then there's Aubrey Huff, who has a couple of big games and has been abysmal otherwise. For those not really keeping an eye on it, "Mr. Clutch" is now hitting .244.

After those two, the hitting falls off a cliff. Luis Hernandez is "surprising" people, but really take a look at those numbers -- he's still sporting a sub-.650 OPS. Brandon Fahey is 1-for-11 on the season, and we all know he can't hit. So you're looking at a two-headed monster at shortstop that simply cannot hit enough to help. Alex Cintron is no prize, but he'd be markedly better than either of them.

Mora has hit a couple of homers, but overall he stinks, too. Millar has looked terrible. Ramon Hernandez is struggling mightily.

It's way too early to have anything at all to really say about the pitching, past the fact that this rotation is going to just kill us. It's one thing to understand that they're bad; it's another to watch it happen. Loewen and Cabrera and Burres are going to be extremely frustrating to watch game-to-game. The bullpen, a strong point early, is showing serious chinks in the armor. Sound familiar? Same scenario as last season, featuring "Lights Out" John Parrish.

We're 2-3 against Tampa Bay, 1-2 against Texas, and 4-0 against Seattle, whose bullpen imploded on them and allowed that sweep. Is this team really playing above expectations?

I have my doubts. And that's not me trying to be negative, it's just what I'm thinking about at the moment.

I am proud to say that Brian Roberts has more hops than Akinori Iwamura.

Jeff Zrebiec has a column up regarding Ramon Hernandez's early season struggles (he's hitting .143), in which Dave Trembley doesn't think Ramon is pressing at the plate.

"I don't think he's pressing," Trembley said before Game 1. "Ramon's a guy that needs to stay on the program. He benefits with early work with [hitting coach Terry Crowley], and he benefits from staying on the program and all the drills Crow has him do in the cage. ... We weren't able to do it [on Tuesday]. It was a travel day and Opening Day here, so our schedule was different. I think when you see Ramon get in that routine of his early work with Crow, I think he'll be better."

So, he's not pressing. He needs work with the "King of Swing and a Miss." Early work. Program work.

"When you're pressing a little bit, I think you have a tendency to open up the strike zone," Trembley said. "I'm confident Ramon will have a big year because he's healthy. His attitude is very positive."

So he IS pressing? You be the judge! Just keep in mind that Razor is in good shape. The best shape of his natural born life, even.

I'm not really concerned about Ramon yet, either, partially because I just don't expect him to be very good, healthy or not. If he's still struggling to reach the Mendoza Line in mid-May, then I'll start to really worry. For now, I'm content to throw some jabs at all this talk about how healthy he is. Like a rhino, this guy!

At the bottom of the article, minor league director Dave Stockstill overuses the word "ready" in regard to Alex Cintron, who has yet to be activated by Norfolk, and says Billy Rowell is still a few days away from returning to the lineup in Frederick.

via d.yimg.com (© LM Otero / AP)

I didn't see the first game, but I do know that getting three base hits is not exactly good. Rangers won 3-1. Stupid every-third-year Kevin Millwood.

In the second game, Adam Loewen struggled badly with his control -- again -- and left a couple too many pitches up -- again. Count me as decidedly not on the train with Loewen or Cabrera. I mean, I'll be psyched when they have good games now and again, but these bad ones are torture. I don't watch summer re-runs; I don't want to watch them on live TV, either.

Jay Payton homered and Markakis and Melvin had two hits apiece in the second game, too. Randor Bierd looked good in relief. The Rangers chipped away at Chad Bradford to score what turned out to be the winning run in the bottom of the eighth, following the Orioles tying it in the top of the inning on a sac RBI from Millar.

Brandon Fahey and Luis Hernandez combined to go 0-for-6 over two games. I know Luis had that one big game-winner, but don't stop expecting to see Alex Cintron sometime soon.

Luke Scott's hot streak hit a roadblock with an 0-for-3 opener (three strikeouts and a walk) and then crapped out in a pinch-hit appearance in game two. Ramon Hernandez had a 1-for-5 day to raise his average to .143.