Don't you ever be sad,
Lean on me when times are bad.
When the day comes and you're down,
In a river of trouble and about to drown

Just hold on, I'm comin',
Hold on, I'm comin'.

Following two straight devastatingly crappy losses, George Sherrill nailed down the ninth inning tonight as the Birds held on to down the Royals, 7-5.

We have a comfy 7-3 lead before Ol' Sar-farty came in there and started walking the field, but George knew what to do. Though he gave up a bleeder single that drove in two runs off the bat of Mark Grudzielanek, he then struck out Alex Gordon to FINISH IT! with aplomb.

Gordon had previously hit a monster home run in the first inning off of Radhames Liz that apparently one-hopped the Warehouse. Good great mamma jamma was that a shot.

Five interesting points of the game:

1. Second inning, Fahey hits a line drive double to left field that Jose Guillen bobbles on the pickup, allowing Adam Jones to score. Next batter is Roberts, who skies one into left center. Guillen, like the jerk he is, stands still and leaves Joey Gathright to fend for himself. Lucky for KC (and Guillen), Gathright makes the catch.
2. Bottom seven, game seeming to get a little too close for comfort. BRIAN ROBERTS SMASH
3. Adam Loewen makes a relief appearance, throwing two scoreless innings with a bit of mystery to them. Season ERA falls to 7.08.
4. Mora finally gets dropped in the order, falling to sixth, and goes 0-for-3 with a walk.
5. Jimmy Gobble makes duck feel better about his own last name.

A few things to take with you tonight......

1. Sweeps are Birdland!
2. Alex Cintron WANTS to be Birdland, but he can't quite get the hang of it
3. Nick Markakis Bobble Heads are totally Birdland.
   
4. Watching 80% of Camden Yards flip up their bills when Shutdown Sherrill enters the game? You got it. Birdland.
   
5. The totally loud section in the upper deck that spelled out O-R-I-O-L-E-S countless times most certainly met the criteria to be Birdland.
   
6. My favorite Birdland in Birdland tonight? After Brian made that awesome play to throw out Miggi, he totally gave Miggi the "spotlight" claw that they used to shine on each other as teammates.
   

LaToya Hawkins, I'm sorry, but Alex Cintron is absolutely your father, you beanball-missing hack. Leave now and never come back!

The ninth inning rain delay that seemed to last 36 years and has forever put the Extra Innings menu music in my brain was pretty lame, but otherwise this was a bizarre and fun game. Nine home runs! Twice the Orioles went back-to-back, both times involving Yankee Killer Kevin Millar! And a walkoff fly ball single by Alex Cintron, who pinch-ran for Ramon "Home Run" Hernandez.

And LaToya being the goat -- chef kiss that stuff. Magnifique.

Jeter also had a hideous game, which was amusing.

We were lucky to win this one. The Yankees should've blown it up in the top of the 11th, but nearly were held scoreless after a shot up the middle by A-Rod was picked off by Brian Roberts on the hop to start the rare 4-2-5 double play. Matsui singled home a run after that, but they were held.

And then Hawkins took over. Oh, the fun we had!

Brian Burres got waxed tonight but in the end, who remembers that? The Yankees went up 4-0, we tied it 4-4. The Yankees went up 8-4, we tied it 8-8. The Yankees went up 9-8, we tied it 9-9, and then took our first and last lead of the game. Oh, the fun we had!

There can't be too many more like this, can there?

Um...Luke Scott got a hit. So did Guillermo Quiroz.

Bynum hit leadoff with Roberts out. Hernandez started at second instead of Cintron, so I guess Luis Luis is getting a second life. Cintron did play, though.

Burres didn't pitch so bad. Bannister was excellent.

We're off tomorrow. The Red Sox come to town Tuesday.

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Garrett Olson pitched well enough (5.1 IP, 3 ER, 1 BB, 2 K) and the bullpen held it down just enough for a Kevin Millar-led offense to hold off the Royals over nine rain-delayed innings, putting the O's back over .500 and continuing our utter domination of the hapless Kansas City Royals.

Millar had three hits, including a first-inning three-run homer. Luis Hernandez (who subbed for an injured Brian Roberts) was 2-for-4, and Melvin Mora had two hits, as well.

Let's all hope that Roberts isn't out for long, because we'd be glaringly lacking anything approaching a leadoff hitter, unless Diamond Dave put Markakis there instead of Freddie Bynum or something, which he would not.

I've had the great pleasure of listening to the Royals broadcasts in the last two nights. First of all, it's fun to listen to a team's commentators talk about their boys not winning against the Birds since 2006.

But my favorite thing about the Royals broadcasts are the commentators themselves, play-by-play man Ryan Lefebvre (right, son of Jim Lefebvre) and color commentator Frank White (left), Royals Hall of Famer.

The two of them are gold. Not only are they terribly unfamiliar with the Orioles and bat-dung crazy, but they're also seriously easy to listen to and seem like a couple of nice damned guys.

A quality start to Frank White is a complete game. Denny Leonard threw twenty complete games. Now that's quality. White also claimed to have been following Brian Roberts since his first day in the Major Leagues, thinking of him like he does Marcus Giles (?), a small stature guy with pop in his bat. White would be the world's only person who saw pop in the bat of Brian Roberts prior to 2005.

Lefebvre spent an entire, long half-inning talking to some dude from American Idol who's from the area. I'm not even being elitist. He seemed like a nice kid, genuinely excited to be there (White said he used to work at the park when he was a child), and he threw out a nice first pitch. Lefebvre and this dude just went on and on and on while a game was happening. Tremendous, totally uninteresting stuff. Lefebvre then decided that this American Idol dude was a good human being. Just had a feeling. Freddie Bynum hits a double, Melvin Mora hits a two-run homer, they talk about this dude going to the mall.

But the best part of that segment was Lefebvre recalling another reality TV star at the park who threw out a terrible first pitch and was booed off the field. "It was, uh...I don't remember his name. Anyway..." Must've made that kid feel good about his future.

Lefebvre later wanted to invent a new statistic, the Quality At-Bat. After tinkering with it out loud, he settled on this: the hitter is down in the count at some point, he sees eight pitches or more, and he hits it hard somewhere. Doesn't matter if he gets a hit. Also, walks are out of the question for the Quality At-Bat. Fantastic.

Jose Guillen appeared to have hurt himself a little bit running to first base later in the game, and Frank White said he had a "nice grimace" on in the dugout. Lefebvre took issue with the idea of a "nice grimace." This followed (I don't have exact quotes here, but this is very close):

Lefebvre: "Nice grimace. That's like jumbo shrimp. Those two don't go together! Or, uh, slight groin injury."

White: "Or tweaked hamstring."

Moments later, White recalled a young Jay Payton, as he and Lefebvre talked about Payton coming out of Georgia Tech at the same time as Nomar Garciaparra and Jason Varitek, and some expected him to be the prize of the bunch.

"Jay Payton had great speed when he came out (of Georgia Tech). Playing center field for the Red Sox."

Payton, of course, did play for the Red Sox, at age 32, in his eighth Major League season. In total, Payton (who had really lost his speed to injuries well before that) played 16 games in center field for the Red Sox. He was a member of the 2000 Mets team that went to the World Series, and had played for three other teams (Mets, Rockies, Padres) by the time he got to Boston.

Just all-around tremendous stuff. I love you, Ryan and Frank. Never change. Continue to think that Melvin Mora is a great player and that Daniel Cabrera throws 98-99 with his fastball. It's OK to be stuck in 2004.

A few quick talking points about the game:

• Trachsel didn't kill us.
• The bullpen nearly did through every pitcher brought in.
• Freddie Bynum is quickly winning me over.
• Nick Markakis is finding his stroke again.
• Brian Roberts is not.
• Aubrey Huff! DONG.
• Melvin Mora! DONG.
• Even Kevbo had a couple hits.
• The Royals are still terrible.

via d.yimg.com

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'm sure. It's one thing to come into this season with low expectations, and knowing the team is going to compete for Worst Team in Baseball, and knowing how rocky and downright bad it's going to be, but it's another thing to actually sit and watch it happen.

The O's came out for 2008 with another surprisingly fast start, ending April in contention. We're a week into May, 16-16, and now we're in fourth place. And brothers and sisters, it's only going to get worse.

We're a half-game up on Toronto, and the Jays are riding a five-game win streak. It's only a matter of time before we get settled in the cellar.

I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. Think about some of the guys starting for this team. Luis Hernandez and his .542 OPS, weak arm, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Ramon Hernandez and his .581 OPS, detrimental alleged defense behind the plate, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Luke Scott (.778 and nosediving) and Jay Payton (.642 and steady) are in a left field platoon.

Our starting first baseman is OPSing .672. Nick Markakis is in a massive slump right now. Our number three hitter is Melvin Mora -- .729 OPS.

This offense is offensive.

And it kind of makes you feel bad for a starting pitching crew that is performing a lot better than most would have expected. Jeremy Guthrie (4.06/1.24) is doing his thing again. Daniel Cabrera (4.06/1.35) seems to have found a balance between power pitching and trusting his stuff enough to let people try to hit it. Brian Burres (2.87/1.28) has been terrific. Garrett Olson (2.08/1.08) has been great in two starts since being called up. Steve Trachsel is a waste of time, so let's not even bother talking about him right now.

The bullpen has been a little inconsistent, but they've held their own for the most part. There's not much more you could ask of this pitching staff than what they've given us, to be totally fair.

And then there's the boneheaded baserunning and fielding and other assorted screwery. It's hard to watch a team make so many fundamental little mistakes that wind up costing them games. The A's had no business winning last night. They shouldn't have scored a run.

But then the Orioles shouldn't be making two outs on every hit-and-run they attempt and gloriously fail to execute. The Orioles shouldn't run into so many outs. But Dave has them running, despite their constant presentation of evidence that they don't know how to run the bases. Roberts is a fantastic baserunner. Markakis is a really good, savvy baserunner, last night's boner notwithstanding. But guys like Luis and Adam Jones, while they have speed, aren't good baserunners. It's one of the few times I'll go out of my way to praise Derek Jeter, but that guy is a magnificent baserunner. It's not just speed, and we all know that. Markakis isn't terribly fast, but, like Jeter, he has good instincts and rarely screws himself over.

And it's not just on the bases. It's in the field, too. Melvin Mora, God bless him, makes more idiotic mistakes than anyone I can think of. He also makes a lot of highlight reel plays. His tendency to look to get a glory out and wind up getting nobody out is a little high. Luis Hernandez? I can't really blame him. He's not really a Major League shortstop. He does not have the arm for the position.

I'm not mad about them being bad, and I'm not upset about it, and it doesn't depress me or anything. But it's hard to watch a team so bad on so many levels. They try hard, there's a lot of moxy, and there's plenty of grit. They've got some gamers. That's super.

They stink, though. We all knew they would.

(And Aubrey Huff has been fine.)

Guillermo Quiroz hit a two-run homer to break a 0-0 tie in the sixth inning, and Brian Burres had a magnificent start, leading the O's to a 5-1 win in the first game of today's double-header in Chicago.

Burres went eight shutout innings, striking out four and allowing three hits. He didn't walk anybody, which is the real stunner.

Luke Scott was 0-1 in a pinch-hit appearance, which extends his slump. If you haven't noticed, he's down to a .310 average and hasn't seen first base since April 19. Jay Payton got the start against John Danks, who took a perfect game into the sixth inning before Guillermo bombed him, and went 1-for-3. So if you can say anything about Payton, it's that he's doing his best when called upon.

The Birds sealed the deal in the top of the ninth against Octavio Dotel, with Eider Torres (pinch-running for Huff) scoring on a Paul Konerko error, and Brian Roberts doubling Quiroz and Adam Jones home to make it 5-0.

Matt Albers came in for the ninth and got his cage rattled a little bit. George Sherrill replaced him with the bases loaded and two out, and promptly drilled Carlos Quentin, but then got Joe Crede, so big whoop.

The O's are 14-9, y'all.

Game 2 starts at 7:05, and I'll get a new game thread up for that one. I leave you with a question: Why does Toby Hall have a landing strip on his face?

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I came into tonight's game late, and it was 5-0 Mariners. First thing I saw was Jay Payton go deep. The Orioles went on to win 8-7, after I immediately proclaimed that we would win tonight. Just had a feelin', ya know? The first thing I see is a Jay Payton home run. We're winning this thing.

I missed another fabulous start from Adam Loewen, who went two and two-thirds (60 pitches, 33 strikes) with three walks, a strikeout, four hits, five earned runs, and a homer allowed to Adrian Beltre. His ERA is now 7.85. Does anyone really think this dude deserves a rotation spot instead of Matt Albers? Really? I know the team is invested in Loewen, but at what point do you have to STOP THE INSANITY?

The guy can't pitch. Trembley is on record as saying we're foolishly carrying thirteen pitchers (and thus, a bench consisting of Brandon Fahey, Guillermo Quiroz and Jay Payton) because Loewen can't go deep into games.

He's not getting any better about it! You can stick him in the bullpen (since optioning him isn't really an, um, option), but that'll spell disaster, most likely. A couple of years ago, one of the Baseball Prospectus guys said that Loewen might be better off there. The way he simply can't keep the ball over the plate, I have my doubts. Sure he could pump his fastball, but he can't control that thing any better than the rest of his junk.

So what do you do with him? He's taking up a valuable spot on the 25-man roster.

After he was gone, it went a lot better. Matt Albers and Jamie Walker gave up an earned run each (both on Ichiro's two-run bomb off of Walker, but we've already discussed the stupidity of matching Ichiro by the book, as he kills lefties and had healthy numbers against Walker career), but RAN-DOOOOOR! pitched two scoreless right after Loewen, Bradford went one and a third, and Sherrill shut the door after some drunks ran onto the field. I had the dreadful Mariners TV broadcast, but apparently Gary Thorne said they were "not taking it lightly" on the knuckleheads (that one credit to the Seattle booth) that got out there.

That gives Shutdown eight saves on the year, five against the Mariners. And that skirt-wearing weiner Erik Bedard is still too afeared of the mighty, mighty O's. As well he should be!

You know who I hate? Yuniesky Betancourt. 3-for-4. That guy kills us. Get him out of here.

Markakis was 2-for-3 with two walks, Millar managed a sac fly, Huff was 1-for-5 with an RBI, Roberts homered in the eighth to put us up for good, and Adam Jones (Player of the Year, 2010 Seattle Mariners) was 3-for-4 with a two-run, go-ahead double in the seventh.

Much fun all around! Now we have a bunch of games in Chicago against the White Sox, so that wraps up our season series against them, too. Let's do it to it!

Another series won. Can't argue with that.