Even though Jay Payton had a pair of two-run homers, the rest of the Orioles stunk out the jernt (well, Luke Scott had two hits on his 30th birthday -- happy birthday, Luuuuuke!) and the pitching was a mess, leading to a 7-4 loss.

Brian Burres was scratched for flu-like symptoms and the like prior to the game, so Albers got the start. Albers left in the first inning, having gotten just one out. Lance Cormier came in, and he and Ryan Bukvich did their best to save the rest of the bullpen. They did as well as you could expect under the circumstances. Whole lotta things went wrong. We lost. It happens.

Dennis Sarfate walking everyone was bothersome, but Jamie Walker got a strikeout in a one-batter appearance, so hey.

OK, seriously. When is Dave Trembley goiing to learn?

Coming into tonight's game, lefties were hitting .391 off of Jamie Walker, with three homers in 10.1 innings. So Trembley brought Walker in with two out and Sarfate having just struck out a couple dudes to face Mauer and Morneau.

Mauer goes yard immediately.

????!!!!

Mauer was also 6-for-9 against Walker.

????!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!!

DAVE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Believe it or not, I don't think I'm a genius. Hear me out -- I don't even think I'm all that smart. I don't think I see anything that any of you couldn't. But we're not talking about rocket science or "weird stats that no one's ever heard of" here. We're talking about at-bats and hits. And division.

Come on. Come on, man. Just stop it.

I came into tonight's game late, and it was 5-0 Mariners. First thing I saw was Jay Payton go deep. The Orioles went on to win 8-7, after I immediately proclaimed that we would win tonight. Just had a feelin', ya know? The first thing I see is a Jay Payton home run. We're winning this thing.

I missed another fabulous start from Adam Loewen, who went two and two-thirds (60 pitches, 33 strikes) with three walks, a strikeout, four hits, five earned runs, and a homer allowed to Adrian Beltre. His ERA is now 7.85. Does anyone really think this dude deserves a rotation spot instead of Matt Albers? Really? I know the team is invested in Loewen, but at what point do you have to STOP THE INSANITY?

The guy can't pitch. Trembley is on record as saying we're foolishly carrying thirteen pitchers (and thus, a bench consisting of Brandon Fahey, Guillermo Quiroz and Jay Payton) because Loewen can't go deep into games.

He's not getting any better about it! You can stick him in the bullpen (since optioning him isn't really an, um, option), but that'll spell disaster, most likely. A couple of years ago, one of the Baseball Prospectus guys said that Loewen might be better off there. The way he simply can't keep the ball over the plate, I have my doubts. Sure he could pump his fastball, but he can't control that thing any better than the rest of his junk.

So what do you do with him? He's taking up a valuable spot on the 25-man roster.

After he was gone, it went a lot better. Matt Albers and Jamie Walker gave up an earned run each (both on Ichiro's two-run bomb off of Walker, but we've already discussed the stupidity of matching Ichiro by the book, as he kills lefties and had healthy numbers against Walker career), but RAN-DOOOOOR! pitched two scoreless right after Loewen, Bradford went one and a third, and Sherrill shut the door after some drunks ran onto the field. I had the dreadful Mariners TV broadcast, but apparently Gary Thorne said they were "not taking it lightly" on the knuckleheads (that one credit to the Seattle booth) that got out there.

That gives Shutdown eight saves on the year, five against the Mariners. And that skirt-wearing weiner Erik Bedard is still too afeared of the mighty, mighty O's. As well he should be!

You know who I hate? Yuniesky Betancourt. 3-for-4. That guy kills us. Get him out of here.

Markakis was 2-for-3 with two walks, Millar managed a sac fly, Huff was 1-for-5 with an RBI, Roberts homered in the eighth to put us up for good, and Adam Jones (Player of the Year, 2010 Seattle Mariners) was 3-for-4 with a two-run, go-ahead double in the seventh.

Much fun all around! Now we have a bunch of games in Chicago against the White Sox, so that wraps up our season series against them, too. Let's do it to it!

Another series won. Can't argue with that.

I said the same thing (more harshly and with more "f-words") in the comments of the game thread, but let me say it now.

Of all the times for Dave Trembley to not go to the bullpen, he chooses a 2-2 game with the bases loaded in the eighth inning with Jeremy Guthrie clearly well out of gas, having nearly hit Adrian Beltre to walk him and load the bases in the first place.

It's not really Guts' fault. Guthrie is a pitcher. Pitchers don't want to be taken out. He looked over at the dugout and said, "I've got him," in regard to Vidro. Vidro hit a two-run single. That was it, as the Orioles couldn't score on JJ Putz.

Now, listen. There's another reason it's not Guthrie's fault, and that's because he should've been pulled when Raul Ibanez came up BEFORE Beltre. Trembley wastes 37 guys an outing sometimes, but when there's a tight ballgame and a totally rested bullpen, he sticks with Guthrie? Is his excuse going to be something as asinine as "Well, we wanted to get him the win"?

Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Ibanez can't hit lefties. Jamie Walker was just hangin' out in the bullpen. He walked Beltre. HE WAS DONE. Of course he said he wants to stay in!!! So did Pedro that one time!!!!!!!!!

GOD. CAN IT BE ALL SO SIMPLE?

Note: The site will be going down for maintenance and bug fixes and the like at 2am ET, and could be down for up to two hours. Sorry, night owls. Or weirdos who live in uncivilized time zones.

Once a year or so, it's good to update these. Players come and players go, much like the asinine nicknames that generally spring out of the game threads. So here's a quick primer for anyone who's new and might not know what in God's name we're talking about during certain points of a game.

Albers, Matt

• Fat Albers

This is not in any way intended to be mean. Honest. I know the dude's a little pudgy, maybe still carrying some baby fat, or maybe he's just like most of the rest of us and likes to reward himself for a fine day's work of breathing air and being a cool dude by wolfing down a Baconator or six. I'm not here to judge Matt Albers. It's just something that happened in my head and then I put it on a blog. Hey, hey, hey!

You gotta do it right though. Listen for yourself, if you're unfamiliar. It starts loud, so be prepared. That site is long faded as far as being funny goes, but whatever. RAN-DOOOOOR!

Bradford, Chad

• ChadBrad
• Chadwick
• Chadstache

Ain't found a way to kill me yet

Eyes burn with stingin' sweat

Seems every path leads me to nowhere

Wife and kids, household pet

Army green was no safe bet

The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Yeah, they come to snuff The Rooster

Yeah, here come The Rooster

You know he ain't gonna die

Walkin' tall, machine gun man

They spit on me in my homeland

Mora, Melvin 

• MelMo
• Melly Mel
• Melvin Moron
• Playoff Hero Melvin Mora

Did Babe Ruth ever slap at someone's glove while they tried to tag him? Did Mickey Mantle? Did Hank Aaron? Did Cal Ripken? Did Dane Iorg? Did Kiko Garcia? Seriously. He's a player to admire, but a total weiner.

That's why I prefer "Brian Bob."

Sarfate, Dennis

• Dennis the Menace

via d.yimg.com

Matt Albers got the job done in a spot start and George Sherrill picked up a shaky sixth save on the season as the Birds remained in first place with a 4-3 win over Toronto.

The O's are now 6-1 at Camden Yards this season, quite a turnaround from last year's dismal 35-46 home record. Trembley went bullpen crazy as usual, giving Jim Johnson two and a third before calling in Jamie Walker and Chad Bradford to get one out apiece. With a 4-1 lead, Sherrill came in to pitch the ninth and allowed a two-run, pinch-hit home run to Alex Rios, but he survived the brush with crap and got us out of there with one more in the win column.

Pretty good game at the plate, too. Kevin Millar was 2-for-4 with a homer and three RBIs, and Brian Roberts, Melvin Mora and Luke Scott all had two hits apiece. Adam Jones was 3-for-3 with a walk, and looked really good at the plate, even though his first hit was sort of an off-balance hack at a breaking ball. After that, he appeared to be dialed in. And this after Dave Trembley went around telling everyone he could find that he really thought about pulling the struggling Jones today.

I still wonder what purpose that serves. Is it motivation? Doesn't it seem like that would make the kid press even harder? And if he had pulled him, then why is he on the team anyway? He's here to learn on the Major League level.

The other O's RBI came from a Ramon Hernandez sac fly. He was 0-for-3 to push his average down to a sparkling .179.

With 13 hits, the O's should have scored more runs, which is a pretty familiar feeling. They grounded into three double plays and made two outs at the plate. The first was Luis Hernandez hesitating to run anywhere on a Nick Markakis chopper where he absolutely should have scored or at least not run at all, but them's the breaks. The second came in the eighth, when Juan Samuel sent Jay Payton on a medium-depth fly ball to left field with one out and Brian Roberts coming up with two men in scoring position.

Let's think about this. Payton runs fine, but he's not fast. Shannon Stewart can't throw, but he wasn't throwing very far. There is another out to go and the insurance run(s) would certainly help. So Samuel sends him?

You're on notice, Juan. You're Trebelhorn II.

But a win is a win is a win. I'm also worried about the fact that in eight wins, Sherrill has six saves. We're not exactly whomping on the competition, and close games can turn against you very fast. But a win is a win is a win. This is Birdland.

I left at 5-5. What the hell happened!

Oh. The bullpen shat out. Because the starters can't go deep and Trembley's bullpen management is, shall we say, risque.

James/Jim Johnson is up and Scott Moore goes down. I get it, I guess. Fine. A thirteenth pitcher seems stupid for a spot start, but hey. Hey! Wait! BRANDON FAHEY is still on the team? Mother of God.

This is probably Birdland, guys. I still like this team. They have balls.

There went Baltimo'. Go, go, Godzilla!

We are now on the schneid. Minor league recap in the morning. Too many Old Styles and karaoke, and I need to sleep.

Glad blood-spittin', arm-flailin' Al Reyes could get out of the clink in time to help the Rays.

So I get bored sometimes, which leads me to think of music, the Orioles, and the combination of the two.

Since we've got a few hours until the double header at Texas, part of which I'll have to miss, I decided to kill some time by coming up with theme songs for all of the O's in their current states.

DISCLAIMER: Not all of these songs are safe for work or for your kids' ears. Play with discretion.

The team gets four songs on this playlist: "Orioles Magic," of course; Saliva's "Click Click Boom" because that is, somewhat sadly, what they come out onto the field with these days; "Thank God I'm a Country Boy," of course; and "Right Back to Where We Started From" by Maxine Nightingale. In addition to having some parallels to Major League, the team is also sort of Slap Shot-y, which is a natural since Major League is just a baseball version of Slap Shot in many ways. Whenever I think of improbable, goofy winning streaks for bad teams, I think of Maxine Nightingale and the Charlestown Chiefs bus.

Luis Hernandez kicks off the player set with the timeless "Theme From Greatest American Hero (Believe it or Not)" by the beloved Joey Scarbury. Believe it or not, he's starting at short. I never thought he would ever be-he-he. (It should've been somebody else.)

Up next is Luke Scott's at-bat music, "I Wanna Be Your Dog" by The Stooges. What Luke says goes right now. The man is slugging .800 and getting a hit every other at-bat.

We dip into the somewhat melancholy for Brian Roberts. The title of this Dylan track says it all: "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go." Odds are, Brian's still going to get dealt this season. This is one of those guys who is definably our player. Remember when he was a slap-hitting little guy? Now he drives the ball with authority to the gaps, steals bags, has become one of the team's leaders, and man, THAT'S OUR BOY. This ain't free agent Tejada or too-frequently-hurt Bedard. This is Brian Roberts. OUR player.

Brenda Lee's "I'm Sorry" could only represent one man: Aubrey Huff. God bless the guy, he's trying really hard to do and say all the right things, including pounding the crap out of the ball. He has won a couple of games for us already, and went 4-for-4 the other night in Texas. He made a mistake. He's sorry. He's playing his ass off. He's part of the team. He's sorry. So sorry. Please accept. His apology.

Ain't no joke, whenever I think of Bocephus' "A Country Boy Can Survive," the first thing that pops into my mind is Jamie Walker. His entire career is proof that a country boy can survive, really. He throws slop, gets people out, and does his damn job, damn it. Jamie Walker rules just as hard as Hank, Jr. I think he might take that as a fine compliment, and I mean it as such.

Razor Ramon gets "I Feel Good" by James Brown. The only nice thing we've heard about Hernandez lately is he's in good shape. He's certainly not hitting. Maybe, like the song, Ramon will start kicking ass quickly.

Bruuuuuuuce! Melvin Mora's "Glory Days" may be behind him, but it's not all bad. He can still play a little bit, still can have a good time, still can remember hitting .340 or the wink of a young girl's eye.

Daniel Cabrera gets two songs. Good Daniel Cabrera gets the classic Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs hit "Stay," which is a song I frequently sing when I get bad drunk, because I remember being a kid, reading a Lewis Grizzard book, and he said he did that. It's just something that pops in my head. And yes, I was reading Lewis Grizzard books when I was a kid. I was a weird kid.

Bad Daniel Cabrera gets Ray Charles' "Hit the Road, Jack." Because seriously.

In the late 1980s, Public Enemy was awesome and I bet Jay Payton was a hell of a high school ballplayer. In the 1990s and beyond, Public Enemy had moments of greatness among their overall mediocrity and inconsistency, and that's pretty much Jay Payton as a pro player at his peak. Last year, Public Enemy released another album, and it had only one great song -- actually, it had only one good song, which also happened to be great. "Harder Than You Think" is the sound of a group that was phenomenal 20 years ago throwing all their eggs into one basket. Jay Payton also stinks now, but he's making the best of his chances so far this season.

Scott Moore is willing to play "Whenever, Wherever." That is also a song by Shakira. Also, it's lucky that Moore's breasts are small and humble, so we don't confuse them with mountains.

I didn't want to leave Frederick Keys catcher Matt Wieters out of the party, so he gets "Get Ready" by The Temptations, which was quite excellently sampled by Fergie, too. Sorry, Fergie's great. It's the law.

Another future star, Adam Jones, is already starting in Baltimore's center field, but man, "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet." Ha! I love this shit. I feel like Tom Verducci or Roch or Jeff Passan. But it's true. Jones might hack away a little in the earlygoing, but so did another current Orioles outfielder before he found his groove. I'm not worried about Dr. Jones.

Blue Öyster Cult's most awesome song is, in fact, "Godzilla," about the movie monster that has a habit of destroying cities and scaring the piss out of everyone in Japan. Greg Aquino thus far has a habit of scaring the piss out of me when he trots in from the bullpen.

This one isn't a real song, at least not in the traditional sense. But comedian Jon Lajoie struck gold with "Everyday Normal Guy," a hit on Funny or Die. Steve Trachsel is just a regular, everday, normal guy. If ya got a pet cat, put your hands up. (I'm not saying the things in this song are true of Steve Trachsel -- not all of them, anyway. He surely has more than $600 in the bank, for instance.)

Kevin Millar has always been really big on "Faith," plus he wore very George Michael-ish jeans when he threw out that controversial first pitch. Sometimes I hear the Limp Bizkit cover of "Faith" and hate it, and sometimes I see Red Sox Millar and hate him. But then I hear George sing the song, and it rules. And I watch Kevin be Kevin as an Oriole, and I forget all that B.S. and remember that I love the guy. Faith-a-faith-a-faith-ah! Baaaaaaa-beh!

New closer George Sherrill gets Semisonic's "Closing Time," which I admit is hardly creative. I don't believe in "guilty pleasures," because you either like something or you don't and you should own the fact either way, but this song would be a "guilty pleasure" for me if I did believe in the concept. I especially enjoy the "ba-chicka-chick-BOW BOW" guitar that is just so absolutely 1990s. We miss you, Everclear, but never come back.

Every time I think of Randor Bierd, I think of that story of him going out and buying a new suit to get on the plane before he even got official word that he'd made the team out of spring training. And every time I listen to Dean Martin, I want to put on a suit, myself, and have a Dewar's on the rocks or fifteen. So Randor gets "Ain't That a Kick in the Head," arguably the swinginest of all Dino's truly swingin' numbers.

Matt Albers and Brian Burres get to share a song, the Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard version of Townes Van Zandt's "Pancho & Lefty," one of my absolute favorite songs. Long story short, Lefty caps Pancho. He only did what he had to do.

I know Brandon Fahey really has no business in the Major Leagues, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't get kind of a happy feeling every time I see him in the field or on the bench, in his uniform that still looks too big for him and his NASCAR sunglasses. At the plate is a different story. I try not to focus on him batting. Brandon always looks so hopeful and happy in the field. "Here Comes the Sun" is for him.

Nick Markakis gets Dire Straits' "Walk of Life." Something about the song just makes me happy. I don't know what it is. It can turn a frown upside down. Make grey skies blue-ah. And oh yeah, the boy can play.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't think of anything too appropriate for Jeremy Guthrie, the staff ace. "Ace of Spades"? Too aggressive, doesn't fit his nature. Nelly's "Number One"? Too braggadocios. So he dedicates a song to Markakis.

Queen's "You're My Best Friend."

Guillermo Quiroz gets Wu-Tang Clan's "Wolves." That's just a good song. You think of a song for Guillermo Quiroz, genius.

Cracker's "Low" represents Adam Loewen, partly because that's part of his last name, and partly because that's where he should try to keep the damn ball, for the love of God. Cracker was a really good band lost in the shuffle thanks to bands like Seven Mary Three and Toadies. That has nothing to do with Adam Loewen.

I hate The Vines, but the manic and sloppy energy of "Outtathaway!" fits Dennis Sarfate's pitching style. He seems like a guy who would be uncomfortable to bat against with that mid-90s heat that comes in like a rocket, and the Vines are rather uncomfortable to listen to.

The skipper, Dave Trembley, gets his own tune, too. He's a native New Yorker. He's also an outsider in the managerial ranks, as he's the only manager in the bigs that never played pro ball. "Outsider" was a good Ramones song, but doesn't fit Diamond Dave's personality. Joey Ramone's cover of "What a Wonderful World" does, though -- Dave is genuinely optimistic all the time, always looking for the best thing to say. And he seems like he actually means it. He doesn't sugarcoat garbage like Perlozzo, Mazzilli and even Leo Mazzone used to. No stuff about "puttin' it all together" in a bullpen session. Just pure hope. He's just happy to be here, and doing his best.

Photo © Greg Flume / Getty Images

Pictured above is Eric O'Flaherty, Patron Saint of Blowing Games. In another nail-biter, the O's AGAIN came from behind to score a 5-4 win over Seattle, giving the Birds their first four-game sweep since 2004. O'Flaherty was inexplicably brought into the game in the bottom of the eighth and gave up a solo home run to an ice cold Aubrey Huff, which turned out to be the game winner.

Now, look, I'm going to be a realist for a second. This team can't keep winning games by coming from behind. It's not going to work.

Now that I'm done with that, THIS IS BIRDLAND, G!

Luis Luis came through with a 2-for-2 day at the plate and made some fine defensive plays behind our pitchers, who started off on the familiar rocky road thanks to Daniel Cabrera. Cabrera went six innings, which he should get some credit for after allowing two first inning solo home runs to Ichiro and Raul Ibanez, putting the O's in a hole right away. Over the six innings, Cabrera allowed four earned runs on five hits and four walks, with five strikeouts.

The difference between Cabrera now and the old Cabrera is he throws slower. It's probably on purpose, with him trying to control the ball better, but it does hurt his K-rate and does make him more hittable, which is going to give him a lot of really horrific outings, like it did last year. The best thing he had going for him was he was really hard to hit; you either struck out or walked, in most cases. Since his walk rates aren't falling any, that means he's letting MORE guys on base. Which is bad news.

But, again, now that I'm done with that, THIS IS BIRDLAND, SON!

Jamie Walker got a couple of outs today, and Dennis Sarfate picked up the win. I really like Dennis the Menace so far -- that guy's philosophy seems to be, "Hey, you. Hit THIS." His fastball is really nice, he's getting ahead in counts, and he's just doing a really good job. He's so good, in fact, that I think we could be looking at a top-notch setup guy or even a closer. Not that we need another closer right now, since George Sherrill is now 4-for-4 in save opportunities, as he got a 1-2-3 ninth inning on Betancourt, Ichiro and Lopez.

Carlos Silva was very Carlos Silva for the Mariners, going seven, allowing four earned on nine hits with no walks and five strikeouts.

For the O's, Brian Roberts went 3-for-4 with two RBI to salvage what had been a pretty bad series for him, and Melvin Mora hit a two-run homer in the third, capping a three-run inning where the Birds took their first lead of the game.

The Mariners tied it in the top of the fourth on an idiotic "defensive indifference" play by Cabrera. Let's not even get into it.

Five in a row. First place. Five in a row!

I'm getting some serious "first half of 2005" vibes about this team, but this is a team that's built in a way that it could get better as the season goes on. If they steal enough games early...who knows?

Jay Payton got to pinch run. Never complain about PT, Jay!

We're having some good fun to start this season. On to Arlington! Let's mess with Texas.

I do send one recommendation to M's fans, though: Be careful about hoping John McLaren gets the ax. You might get Sam Perlozzo.

The O's went to 2-1 tonight with a 7-4 victory over the Mariners, which was good news and all, but still, erm, some issues.

Yeah, Millar and Razor and Mora all went yard and Luis Hernandez even had two RBI (both sac flies), but...

Bullet points!

• Dave Trembley's bullpen management is positively Perlozzoian.
• Nick Markakis does not look great against left handed pitching.
• Greg Aquino is AWFUL.

Sarfate, Walker and Bradford did their jobs, but why were the latter two even pitching? It was a five-run game before Aquino crapped the bed and gave up a two-run homer to Richie Sexson in the ninth inning, which led to Sherrill coming in following a Mike Morse double after the Sexson home run. Adrian Beltre also homered for the Mariners earlier in the game.

A fine win in many ways, and it's good to see this team playing so hard. The fielding was excellent, as Luis Hernandez made some really nice plays and Mora had a couple highlights, too. But Trembley is worrying me. Walker and Bradford don't need to be throwing 80 games apiece again.

How about a play of the game? OK.

Play of the Game: Raul Ibanez, with a 3-0 count, swings away and grounds into a 4-6-3 double play. What a boner.

Aquino will be the first guy in the 'pen to lose his job. And there was no reason to use Walker when Randor Bierd and Matt Albers are out there. It's a five-run game. That's why you have those guys.

But, we won. Let's take it where we can get it.