Daniel Cabrera gave up a leadoff home run to a returning David DeJesus, then pitched a complete game with just one more run allowed. He walked nobody. Nice game, Danny.

Aubrey Huff hit a home run. Aubrey Huff is the greatest ballplayer in the galaxy.

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

For the morning sun and all its glory
Meets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

TOP FIVE MOST BIRDLAND, IN THE OPINION OF YOUR COBRA COMMANDER

1. Jim Johnson: Never lets you down! 1.31 ERA! Pretty crappy strikeout-to-walk ratio (shhhh!) but no one is getting any hits off of him.

2. Nick Markakis: Uh oh, someone's gotten red-hot.

3. Jeremy Guthrie: Also never lets you down. No, he's probably not going to contend for Cy Youngs with gaudy numbers, but dude's looking like he can legit anchor a staff.

4. Daniel Cabrera: Hasn't been very good at all in three of his last four starts, but hold on loosely. And don't let go.

5. George Sherrill: Seems like he has a tendency to make it exciting, but the numbers are rock solid. 2.83 ERA, a WHIP just over 1, and a sub-.170 BAA? I'll take it.

Poor Royals. They just can't beat us. They are unable to handle the ferocity that is Orioles Magic.

Good to see Freddie Bynum in the lineup. Yeah, I said it.

Daniel Cabrera is my daddy, your daddy, everyone's daddy. Yeah, I said it.

Winning a game after losing a bunch is always fun. And to be fair, the O's were losing tight games, sometimes because they couldn't hit, and sometimes because they just didn't win. (Like if Steve Trachsel pitched. Which is, sadly, coming up tomorrow.)

But remember: TONY PENA IS WATCHING YOU.

via d.yimg.com

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'm sure. It's one thing to come into this season with low expectations, and knowing the team is going to compete for Worst Team in Baseball, and knowing how rocky and downright bad it's going to be, but it's another thing to actually sit and watch it happen.

The O's came out for 2008 with another surprisingly fast start, ending April in contention. We're a week into May, 16-16, and now we're in fourth place. And brothers and sisters, it's only going to get worse.

We're a half-game up on Toronto, and the Jays are riding a five-game win streak. It's only a matter of time before we get settled in the cellar.

I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. Think about some of the guys starting for this team. Luis Hernandez and his .542 OPS, weak arm, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Ramon Hernandez and his .581 OPS, detrimental alleged defense behind the plate, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Luke Scott (.778 and nosediving) and Jay Payton (.642 and steady) are in a left field platoon.

Our starting first baseman is OPSing .672. Nick Markakis is in a massive slump right now. Our number three hitter is Melvin Mora -- .729 OPS.

This offense is offensive.

And it kind of makes you feel bad for a starting pitching crew that is performing a lot better than most would have expected. Jeremy Guthrie (4.06/1.24) is doing his thing again. Daniel Cabrera (4.06/1.35) seems to have found a balance between power pitching and trusting his stuff enough to let people try to hit it. Brian Burres (2.87/1.28) has been terrific. Garrett Olson (2.08/1.08) has been great in two starts since being called up. Steve Trachsel is a waste of time, so let's not even bother talking about him right now.

The bullpen has been a little inconsistent, but they've held their own for the most part. There's not much more you could ask of this pitching staff than what they've given us, to be totally fair.

And then there's the boneheaded baserunning and fielding and other assorted screwery. It's hard to watch a team make so many fundamental little mistakes that wind up costing them games. The A's had no business winning last night. They shouldn't have scored a run.

But then the Orioles shouldn't be making two outs on every hit-and-run they attempt and gloriously fail to execute. The Orioles shouldn't run into so many outs. But Dave has them running, despite their constant presentation of evidence that they don't know how to run the bases. Roberts is a fantastic baserunner. Markakis is a really good, savvy baserunner, last night's boner notwithstanding. But guys like Luis and Adam Jones, while they have speed, aren't good baserunners. It's one of the few times I'll go out of my way to praise Derek Jeter, but that guy is a magnificent baserunner. It's not just speed, and we all know that. Markakis isn't terribly fast, but, like Jeter, he has good instincts and rarely screws himself over.

And it's not just on the bases. It's in the field, too. Melvin Mora, God bless him, makes more idiotic mistakes than anyone I can think of. He also makes a lot of highlight reel plays. His tendency to look to get a glory out and wind up getting nobody out is a little high. Luis Hernandez? I can't really blame him. He's not really a Major League shortstop. He does not have the arm for the position.

I'm not mad about them being bad, and I'm not upset about it, and it doesn't depress me or anything. But it's hard to watch a team so bad on so many levels. They try hard, there's a lot of moxy, and there's plenty of grit. They've got some gamers. That's super.

They stink, though. We all knew they would.

(And Aubrey Huff has been fine.)

The O's and White Sox played to a 3-3, 11-inning draw today thanks to heavy rain in Chicago turning the field into a slip and slide/marsh, and no makeup date has been announced as the teams don't play again until way later this year, and that's in Baltimore.

By the time it comes around, I don't think it'll really matter if this game ever gets finished or not, but they could also choose to do it Monday, June 23, since both teams are off, the White Sox leave for L.A. on the 24th, and the O's would just have to come down from Milwaukee, equally useful as they're in Chicago starting the 24th to play the Cubs, anyway.

But one inning of baseball maybe? Getting a crowd in and disrupting travel plans and all that for what could be one inning of baseball? Sounds...dumb. So I expect they'll just finish it in Baltimore.

I'm attaching a poll here because I can't decide who wins today's Cabrera Bowl. Here's Danny's line: 6.1 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 7 BB, 2 K.

I know he managed to skirt by walking seven today, but he walked seven today. I think this one qualifies as a toss-up. So do your duty.

via d.yimg.com

zknower and I will both refrain from voting for our own causes.

Danny Cabrera's last three starts:

20.2IP  16H  5ER  5BB  12K

ERA: 2.17  WHIP: 1.01

Hey, c'mon. You gotta be a little bit psyched, right?

We don't play this game on paper!

Shut it, Squinty. You give hating the Yankees a bad name.

This is sort of a "random thoughts" idea, although I really don't like how "random thoughts" sounds. I don't like the word "random." It gets used too much. That, in itself, is a random thought. Or, really, I guess it's pretty on-topic.

...

1. Who was that umpire with the hemp necklace? Way to rock your fashion within the confines of your outfit, dude. Let's go see some Daaaaave.
2. On the topic of attire, Gary Thorne about made me pee last night. No man should ever wear so much beige at one time, and his complexion just isn't fit for it to begin with. As for his atrocious tie, let's just say that I hope it was given to him by a young relative for his birthday or something. I'm so catty!
3. Z got to even up Cabrera Bowl '08 with Danny's killer start. So many times I thought he was about to implode, but he manned up. Like a man. I hope Z kicks my ass at the game of Cabrera.
4. LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!
5. Luis Hernandez and Melvin Mora make some of the most God awful fielding mistakes you will ever see on the left side of our infield. Mora is turning into Derek Jeter, making a good amount of highlight reel plays and falling short on what should be the routine. But Mora also has the added boner factor of frequently wanting to throw the ball home when he should just go to second or first and not worry about the run. And then he makes his Melvin Face. You know the face. And Hernandez's arm is dubious.
6. Randor Bierd is just plain cool. You know what I mean?
7. Who would win in a fight: Brandon Fahey or Edwar Ramirez?
8. After all the talk about how Markakis is walking a lot and you don't want your 3-4-5 hitters to walk (despite that the plate discipline of Millar is really his greatest asset and it never ever ever ever ever ever hurts to get on base instead of making an out), it was refreshing to hear Jim Palmer say the following words: "He's going to walk a lot. And why not?" Jim, you have bested Buck. Markakis was 3-for-3 after walking in the first inning.
9. If you haven't noticed, ol' Brian Bob is in a 1-for-17 funk.
10. Yankee fans still talk about their lineup as being the best in baseball a lot of the time, apparently not noticing flaws like Jason Giambi now being exactly as good as the end of the line days of Jeremy Giambi, and only being able to score two runs against the Orioles, both off the bat of Chad Moeller. This is just picking at them while they're down, really. I'm aware that they're going to score their runs.
11. One extra. Even if he goes down as the greatest player to ever lace up a pair of cleats, Alex Rodriguez's ability and all the nice things he does for charity and things of that nature will probably not outlive how big of a tool he is. But I will root for him to break Bonds' home run record, regardless of his toolness. I was a big Bonds fan for a long, long time, and found him to be funny in many ways, but the dude got to be too much. Is baseball missing him or Roger Clemens right now?

Holla!

Daniel Cabrera is Birdland.

September 28, 2006.

A rather meaningless day in Orioles history, overall. Another crappy O's team folding their way into fourth place down the home stretch, playing at Yankee Stadium, about to get mopped up. Daniel Cabrera starting. ESPN televising the game because it's the Yankees, we're about to enter the playoffs, and hey, why not? No good bowling to show that night.

Nine innings. One hit. Two walks. Five strikeouts.

He's struck out double digits a few times. Never had Cabrera looked so good on the mound, so totally in control of his pitches. He never has since, either.

The game thread that night was pretty quiet. Most of us had given up on the team and were finding better things to do at 7:05 anyway. Another walk-filled Cabrera start seemed like a pass.

I remember I had the game on TV, but was hanging out with my then-roommate, bullshitting and drinking beer, trying to figure out something worthwhile to do with the night. We never came up with anything. Good thing, because Cabrera put on a hell of a show.

I didn't want to talk about it, didn't even want to talk about the game. I'm not big into jinxes and curses and all that other hogwash, in case you haven't noticed, but I do accept that you don't talk about a no-hitter in progress. Roch Kubatko did it the other day to Gavin Floyd against Detroit, and I wondered where he learned anything about baseball. What kind of a dork mentions a no-hitter? I don't even like it when ESPN says anything about it before switching to that game. Just say, "There's something pretty special going on at Yankee Stadium..." or the like. Jeez Louise, people.

Then-skipper Sam Perlozzo talked about Cabrera a few days later. He said, "He's got a real good note to go home and he should be a good pitcher for us. We keep saying that, but I think he's getting closer and closer and, hopefully, next year's the year."

I bought into it. "He's got a pretty good head on his shoulders," Perlozzo said. Yyyyup.

It's 2008, gang. We're still waiting for that "next year" where Cabrera "puts it all together" and becomes "a good pitcher for us."

A year and a half ago, Daniel Cabrera threw a one-hitter. It was awesome.

Tomorrow night, he starts for us as we kick off the 2008 edition of what was once a hell of a rivalry between our boys in orange and the New York Yankees. Go get 'em, Daniel.

Oh boy.

Once a year or so, it's good to update these. Players come and players go, much like the asinine nicknames that generally spring out of the game threads. So here's a quick primer for anyone who's new and might not know what in God's name we're talking about during certain points of a game.

Albers, Matt

• Fat Albers

This is not in any way intended to be mean. Honest. I know the dude's a little pudgy, maybe still carrying some baby fat, or maybe he's just like most of the rest of us and likes to reward himself for a fine day's work of breathing air and being a cool dude by wolfing down a Baconator or six. I'm not here to judge Matt Albers. It's just something that happened in my head and then I put it on a blog. Hey, hey, hey!

You gotta do it right though. Listen for yourself, if you're unfamiliar. It starts loud, so be prepared. That site is long faded as far as being funny goes, but whatever. RAN-DOOOOOR!

Bradford, Chad

• ChadBrad
• Chadwick
• Chadstache

Ain't found a way to kill me yet

Eyes burn with stingin' sweat

Seems every path leads me to nowhere

Wife and kids, household pet

Army green was no safe bet

The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Yeah, they come to snuff The Rooster

Yeah, here come The Rooster

You know he ain't gonna die

Walkin' tall, machine gun man

They spit on me in my homeland

Mora, Melvin 

• MelMo
• Melly Mel
• Melvin Moron
• Playoff Hero Melvin Mora

Did Babe Ruth ever slap at someone's glove while they tried to tag him? Did Mickey Mantle? Did Hank Aaron? Did Cal Ripken? Did Dane Iorg? Did Kiko Garcia? Seriously. He's a player to admire, but a total weiner.

That's why I prefer "Brian Bob."

Sarfate, Dennis

• Dennis the Menace